Why Did They Leave Me?
by bookworm8700
Summary: Summary- Alex Rider has left the U.S. after the pleasures died in a "freak accident". Alex Rider is now Alex Daniels and is enlisted in the SAS with a new unit (X-unit) with the occasional visit from k-unit including Ben. When the sergeant calls a surprise meeting, Alex never expected his parents to walk on stage. (rated T for language)
1. Chapter 1- strangers

_**Inspired by: _**girlinthetrenchcoat**_**_

i do not own Alex Rider.

Summary- Alex Rider has left the U.S. after the pleasures died in a "freak accident". Alex Rider is now Alex Daniels and is enlisted in the SAS with a new unit (X-unit) with the occasional visit from k-unit including Ben. When the sergeant calls a surprise meeting, Alex never expected his family to walk on stage.

"Hey Cub, wait up!" Meet Alex Rider AKA Cub. Alex has lost nearly everything and is living at the SAS camp in Brecon Beacons to pursue his career, voluntarily, as a British soldier. His new Z-unit has just been called to the meeting hall for a surprise meeting along with all the other units in the camp.

"Hey Ben, thought you had swimming with k-unit, no exceptions?" He says as Ben reaches his side.

"How many times so I have to tell you? You have to call me Fox when we are here." He replies in an amused tone.

"At least once more, Ben. So did Searge let you off this time or are you just skipping." Alex already knew the answer to his question. No body skipped class/session unless you had a death wish or you were already dying.

"No searge told us that the meeting is too important to miss. I wonder what it is about." Ben replied. I felt extremely lucky, despite my horrid past, whenever I have Ben by my side. Just his presence seems to melt all the horrible memories away, even if for a brief period of time.

"I don't know, but I have a bad feeling about this." Me and Ben lock eyes. We both know that if I feel something is wrong, something is WRONG. 

When we reach the meeting hall, Ben and I sit in our respectful seats which happen to be right by each other. Even though nobody admits it, somebody read my file *cough cough sergeant cough cough* because whenever Ben is back with K- unit, we are almost always placed together in the schedules.

With all the excitement buzzing through the soldiers, I can sense that something big is about to go down.

"SILENT"

As soon as the sergeant says this, all you can here is the moving around of ADHD soldiers (i.e. Eagle 2 seats away)

"Today we have some special guests that have risked their lives time and again , to protect everyone in this room."

I sit quietly wondering who these people are. I know first-hand what protecting people over and over again feels like.

"Please welcome John and Helen Rider and his brother Ian rider, along with their newborn daughter, Emma up to the stage."

I feel as if my stomach has dropped to the floor, jumped to the ceiling and fallen straight into my lap. Ben places a firm hand on my soldier as he stares up onto the stage. The surrounding soldiers, excluding k-unit who are looking at the duo with confused expressions. They know they heard Cub being called a Rider on more than one occasion.

Up on the stage, a man and a woman come out to behind the podium. The tall man looks almost like a replica of the young Cub staring up at him. Everything that is different comes from the woman who looks up into her husband's eyes. John has his arm wrapped protectively around his wife and is staring down at the bundle currently lying in the pink blanket carried by Helen.

Right behind them, a similar looking man walks to the other side of Helen Rider. He has a blank face and is looking out into the crowd. I restrain from standing up so that I can listen to the story they have planned to tell all the soldiers.

John talks first. "Good morning Gentlemen, I would like to thank you for using your time to come and listen to us during your stay here at the Beacons. I remember I always hated the lectures and meetings, sorry Sarge." A few chuckles and a grunt from the amused sergeant follow his statement.

"We are honored to share our story with you all today. So, I shall begin. Around sixteen years ago I had been a lead ranking in the MI6 SO. I had been selected for a mission for a deep undercover in the heart of SCORPIA operations."

As John was talking, Alex's mind was running 60MPH. 'why are they here?' 'Why didn't they come and find me?' 'How are they alive?' 'How as nobody noticed that the man looks exactly like me?'

"I had successfully managed to transfer many documents and information to the heads of MI6. I had to train assassins at their training island, and unfortunately assassinate a few people myself, which I hate about myself to this day." John continues

'Why doesn't he hate himself for not finding me?' Alex thought. Alec was too shocked and confused that his real anger hasn't set in at the moment.

Ben who was sitting next to him though was fuming with anger. 'How dare they leave their son?' he thinks.

X-unit and K-unit are slowly making the connections between the guests and their fellow soldier.

"After a while I couldn't stand the life I was put into and wanted a future with Helen and A- Ian." John paused a slight moment and Alex looked up to the stage. The men/woman still have not noticed their own son/nephew.

"So me and the heads of '6 decided to fake a kidnapping. SCORPIA had also kidnapped a very important son of a very important man and I decided, why not trade us but fake my death during the transaction. It almost worked too. When Helen and I were going to board a private plane to France, Ian had heard a rumor about a bomb being placed on the very plane. Helen and I were sent to a safe house and were put in a safe house in a small Irish town, isolated from our loved ones. Ian had continued on to become a successful MI6 agent, and I will turn to him for his story."

"Did I not even exist?" I say. All eyes turn to me. My gaze reaches the stage and I look into my "fathers" eyes. Ian Rider pales dramatically.

"Alex?" he mutters.

_**Hello! hope ya'll are having a great year so far! This is my first fan-fiction and just kind of thought of it after reading "Redemption" by girlinthetrenchcoat  i just kind of thought what would happen if it happened differently so i'm sorry if you get mad at me, i just wanted to share and i just couldn't stop thinking about it. Like I said this is my first fan-fiction so i would really appreciate it if there is only constructive criticism because i am new at this. Please review if you have any comments or anything, i just thought people might enjoy this story and i don't want to offend anybody! **_


	2. Chapter 2- dad

_**i do not own Alex Rider**_

_"Alex?'_

Alex's breath was hitched in his throat. Why is he looking at me like that? Like he is in an awkward situation and just wants to leave.

"So you're alive? What else is going to happen? Is Jack hiding behind stage? The Pleasures? What the FUCK is going on!" Alex shouts. He is so angry that he is shaking. Ben is sitting there glaring at the three riders with looks that could kill.

"Listen Alex I know your upset.." Ian starts but then Alex stands up Ben right behind him.

"You do not have the right to say that. Where were you?! Where were you when I was forced into your fucking dirty work? Where were you when I had to see people kill people and even kill people myself just so I can live. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS FUCKING SHOT! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I SAW JACK MURDERED AND SABINA MURDERED RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES!" Alex had tears streaming down his face from anger and despair. He never wanted to do this and these people could have prevented it.

"Alex? Is that really you?" Helen gently says.

"Yes, it's really me bitch. Did you not think I was good enough so you decided to have another fucking kid and just forget about me?" the entire hall was silent.

"Don't you dare speak to your mother like that, young man!" john angrily applies.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Mother, I don't have mother. I don't have an uncle either. And I sure as hell don't have a father. But you know what I do have? I have a dad and a mum and uncles and brothers. I have ben. I have snake. Eagle, wolf. X-unit. That's my family. You all are just fucking bastards who allow their only son to be played around like a toy with intelligent agencies right after I lost my last blood relative. Well, or so I thought. I waited 16 fucking years for you to come to me and we be a family. You were the only gift I ever wanted on Christmas and you didn't even care. Well you know what? FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU!" with that Alex ran from the hall tears streaming from his face.

When Alex finally arrived at the lake, he began to scream and kick and punch anything that was around him, which just so happened to be Ben, the man that followed him from the hall and was allowing Alex to let everything out, no matter how much it hurt. This kid was strong.

After Alex let out all his anger he began to shake with sobs. Ben wrapped his muscular arms around the young blonde and just let him cry.

"They…. They left me Ben…. They didn't even care…." Alex cried through his sobs. Ben was rubbing soothing circles on his back while making soft noises to comfort the boy.

"I know Al, I know." Ben replied softly. Of course, he knew nothing of the sort and felt horrible about it every day. No boy or man should have ever been through what Alex has.

Meanwhile, back in the meeting hall, Helen began to sob. She gave the tiny baby to her brother n law and ran outside. John had tried to stop her but it was no use, so he just followed.

K and x unit were sitting in shock. Cub had called them his family. Cub, the one who rarely ever speaks, unless to ben, had just called them his family. Snake wasn't even offended by being called a "mum". The units both looked at each other. These people were going to pay for hurting their unit member. They always protect their own.

Outside,

Helen began running to the shadows standing by the lake. What she saw had made her stop and begin to sob. John had just reached her and wrapped his arms around her and they mimicked what was happening between the men standing at the edge of the lake. 

LATER THAT NIGHT

All the men just finished their evening exercises and just got out of the showers. Alex was laying his head on his rock hard pillow, and was staring at the ceiling of the hut. After the "goodnights" were over, the lights were turned out and Ben ruffled his hair before getting into bed. Ben ruffling his hair had been a tradition every night that he was with Alex.

"Goodnight" he whispered softly. With that Alex had a small smile creep up on his face along with all the other members of the shared hut of x and k unit. (More units = less room = shared hut)

Four in the morning:

Alex awoke with a start. Like always he just saw all the faces that haunt him day and night. Alex then recalled all that had happened the past day. Anger began to boil inside of him once more. He Began to wake up his unit members to start off their day. Kicking Eagle and Parrot out of their beds was the easiest way to wake up the immature soldiers in the units. The hut soon began to wake up and they headed off to breakfast.

When they entered the mess, all units fell silent.

'Great' Alex thought. 'More attention'

After the two units got their food they began to walk to their assigned table when they all gradually came to a stop. Sitting there was John, Helen, and Ian Rider. And the baby. The baby that replaced Alex.

_**thank ya'll so much for all the support! i am so thankful for all of this and i hope y'all enjoy reading this as much as i love writing it. if y'all have and suggestions on where you want the story to go, don't hesitate in telling me. Ya'll are awesome and i hope y'all have a great weekend. i will try to update as soon as i can. well i have to go clean my room now, Enjoy!**_


	3. Chapter 3- first day

John spoke first.

"Good morning men. I'm sorry about the seating arrangements; we had no choice."

Alex nearly laughed.

"You do understand I am a trained spy. I know when someone is lying." Alex glared at the two men before walking out of the mess hall. Every unit was silent, watching the scene take place. John gave Ian an angry glare as he watched his son retreat from the mess hall.

Outside:

Alex needed to blow off some steam. BAD. He began jogging down to the assault course and, after stretching, began the playground from hell. Alex began thinking about everything bad that has happened in his life:

Growing up without a mum and dad that he could run to when he needed comfort.

Having Ian, Jack and Sabina ripped away from him instantly.

Being forced to live through something no one would ever want to.

Alex then began seeing images flash before his eyes. He shook his head trying to shake the memories away. He jumped onto the monkey bars sand began climbing his way across until a ray of sunlight flashed into his eyes. Instantly he was back in the chair strapped in, watching the jeep explode.

"ALEX! ALEX, CAN YOU HEAR ME!" He came to earth on the ground with a heavy body shaking him.

He lashed out immediately.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HEAR!" Alex then felt another pair of strong arms pull him off the body on the ground. He turned and attacked his "attacker". Alex couldn't see anything. Everything was fuzzy.

Alex was shaking furiously.

"Alex, it's okay. It's ben. Just Ben. You are okay. No one's going to hurt you." Ben continually whispered kind, safe words to Alex. Alex slowly gained composure.

First he heard the words. Then the gentle hands rubbing circles on his back. Then the pain in his ankle that resulted from the fall from the bars.

"Ben" Alex whispered.

Alex clung onto Ben as if his life depended on it. Alex finally stopped violently shaking.

Alex looked into Bens eyes and said one word. One word that made everyone flinch in sympathy. Everyone but Ben. Ben knew how he hated sympathy. Ben just nodded and they both walked down to the back side of the lake. No one ever bothered to go down there. They knew it was their spot. It will always be their spot.

One hour later:

x- Unit and k-unit were always partners together so they shared the same timetable. Right now they were at the shooting range. Alex hated this place. Every time he entered the place he was reminded of _there._ They had just entered the range when Alex instantly left. One look after getting there already made him leave and it wasn't because of the memories. In the range was john Rider.

Alex had just made it to the mess hall. It was the closest building to the range. Not even a minute there, was he interrupted.

"I can't go in there Ben. Not with him in there."

"He's going to be there. They are going to be everywhere. It's going to suck." Ben replied.

"Thanks for the pep talk." Alex mumbled.

"Hey, you didn't let me finish. I'm still going to be there. Wolf, Snake, Parrot, Eagle, Bear, Rat... they will all be in there too. We won't let him go near you if you don't want him there. You will have to live the rest of your life with people you don't want to be around. But they are still going to be there. You can't do anything about it. You can just accept it and move on. You will always have us. Always." Ben finished by pulling Alex into his arms.

"I will never leave you. I promise. I will always be with you. In any way, shape, or form. You will never be alone." He whispered into Alex's ear.

Alex pulled out of the hug with a sigh.

"I guess we have to go then, yeah? Ben asked

Alex replied with a longer sigh and walked out of the hall. Ben just chuckled to himself before following the boy out of the hall and to the range.

When they arrived at the shooting range, all the units were set up and shooting their guns.

Alex and ben went to get their guns and stepped up to begin shooting until he was stopped.

"Cub, what happened down at the course?" Alex turned around to find john rider with a bruise on his face.

_I guess he's the one who pulled me off. _He thought to himself.

Before he did anything, his entire unit was in front of him asking John if he needed anything. Alex felt something bubble up inside of him. He had no way of describing it. Him having his unit back him up like that gave him this feeling. Alex looked over at Ben who just smirked at him. Alex turned back around and began shooting. He would let his unit handle this one, he didn't need it.

After Alex began shooting, his unit returned to their places and mimicked the boy. After all rounds were done, they brought the targets back. Nobody was shocked at the target that had a single hole in the dead center. Well they weren't showing it.

All except John. John was looking around at the soldiers when his eye caught his sons. Alex quickly looked away. John instantly knew that his son had just shot a perfect target.

At the end of the day, all the units were in the mess hall. Nobody ever missed dinner. EVER. After all the units were about done eating, the sergeant walked up to the podium on the far side of the room. Everybody fell silent.

"Good evening soldiers. As you saw today, the talented john rider was instructing the shooting range. He and his brother, who will also help, will be here for the next 3 months to help train you. Once Ian Rider is released from the infirmary, the lessons will begin." With that, the sergeant left the soldiers to their usual gossip.

"_Great. Just fucking great"_

_**Okay, that was chapter 3! I'm going to TRY and update ATLEAST once a week. I have a life outside of fan fiction (a very small life, mind you) and that comes first. If you have any suggestions, questions, or comments, please leave them in the review section. Thank you all for the support and hope ya'll have a great day! ~Ainsley. **_


	4. Chapter 4- beginning of explanation

Chapter 4:

Alex was lying in bed that night. He was constantly trying to answer the questions in his head.

_I don't understand. I'm their son. Their very own flesh and blood yet, they don't even care that I'm here. Why would someone give up their own kid to save themselves instead? Why leave an innocent little baby to grow up without a parent? _

Alex was cut off from his thoughts when ben sat down on the edge of his bed.

"They want to talk to you Alex. Helen does. I haven't given them an answer" he looks questionably to me.

"What do I tell them Al?" Alex sat there for a moment just staring at the ceiling.

"Only if the baby isn't there. And only Helen. Not Ian or John. Not yet." Alex replied. Ben looked at him with a raised eyebrow but doesn't say anything. He nods and walks back out of the cabin leaving Alex alone.

About thirty minutes later Alex was walking outside to go and meet Helen. He sees her standing by the lake and walks towards her hesitantly. It is about nine o'clock at night, after the sergeant gave his speech.

Alex clears his throat to make himself known.

Helen turns around slightly startled. She hadn't heard him walk up.

"Hello Alex, thank you for coming to talk"

Alex stayed silent looking out to the lake.

"I know you hate me. I would too. I'm not going to make up some stupid excuse, just say that leaving you with Ian was the stupidest thing I have ever done. I should have known something was wrong when I left to go to the airport. I will never forgive myself for making you go through this all alone. I will not ask for an apology, I don't deserve one. If you never want to talk to me ever again I will understand."

Alex takes a wary glance at Helen and gingerly placed his hand onto Helens. Helen looks into the chocolate eyes of her son. She watches a stray tear fall off his check and onto the grass below their feet.

Cautiously she pulls Alex into a tight hug. Alex let out another tear. And another. And another.

Soon enough Alex was sobbing onto Helens shoulder overwhelmed with emotion. Nobody has ever been so truthful to him but Ben. He stayed in his mother's embrace for another five minutes until he awkwardly lets go of Helen and pulled away. He wipes off his cheeks and sees Helen doing the same thing.

"Can we walk?" Alex whispered and Helen nods with a small smile.

"Can you explain everything to me?" Alex asks Helen. It's all that he has wanted to know since the shocking arrival of his family.

"Of course, you deserve it most. Well, when join had joined Scorpia, I had no idea. I didn't know until I had you and john wanted out. I had barely seen him in that time. We were actually becoming very distance and I thought he didn't want me anymore. When I found out I was pregnant with you I was scared. Yes we were married, but I thought he was going to leave me for some other woman. I had no idea he was "protecting our country" as he put it.

"I don't think going deep undercover and training assassins is a good way to protect the country. Killing people for information, I hated it. But whenever he suggested going to south France and have a new life, it was like a dream. The day after he told me that, we were packing and going off to the plane. That's when you became sick. We left you with the nanny and the next thing I knew we were being shoved into a black car and speeding away.

"Through all this craziness and still seeing the explosion in my head and hearing the buzzing in my ears we pulled up to this ready to fly helicopter and then I remembered you. I told john that we have to go back and we can't just leave you there. All he did was look into my eyes and told me to trust him."

With that Helen stopped and looked into Alex's eyes.

"I never should have left you. Should have fought for you! I'm so sorry Alex" by the end Helen had begun crying again.

Alex looked down at his feet making Helen cry harder until Alex slowly grabbed Helens hand. Helens sobs turned to sniffles. She stared at their intertwined hands before pulling Alex back into her arms.

"I think that is enough for tonight. We can finish tomorrow Alex." Alex simply nodded and began to walk away before Helen called back out.

"Alex. Just know, even if it may seem like it, I never stopped thinking about it. I will always love you. You are my son." With that, Helen wiped away another fallen tear, smiled a real smile at Alex and walked away.

Alex watched her retreating figure before finally walking back to his hut.

_**I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner, I had quite a few tests this week. Anyways, a little mother son bonding in this chapter. Based on the relationship I have with my mom, I have realized that no mother would just leave their child, not if they have a soul and I imagine Helen as one with a soul. I will try to update again this weekend maybe- possibly. Anyways thank ya'll so much for reading and following and reviewing it means so much to me! I hope ya'll had a great valentine's day!**_


	5. Chapter 5- short talk

When Helen walked into the cabin she was staying in, you could tell she had been crying even though she had a smile on her face. She walked over to her daughter currently being held by John. She took her daughter in her arms and grabbed John's hand pulling him outside. John didn't protest and followed his wife.

"Why hadn't you gone back for Alex? I told you to go to Alex but you didn't. I need to know why" Helen was once again in tears as she looked down into her daughters eyes. John hesitated before answering.

"I thought he would be safe, I guess. I just wanted to start over and to just get away. I don't know Helen, I should have gotten him, I should have. I should have stopped MI6 when they told me about using him, I know, I just thought that he would want it eventually. He's too talented, he's a Rider."

"I never should have gotten into that car with you. I should have gone back."

Helen didn't say anything to John or Ian for the rest of the night or the following morning. She could barely manage the weak smile that she gave Alex in the morning. She hated herself at the moment.

When Alex returned to his cabin, everyone was playing a small game of poker. Ben stood up when Alex entered and followed Alex out the door after looking into Alex's eyes. Alex didn't want to talk around everybody else.

"She's not bad. She claimed responsibility and didn't give me some dumb excuses. She is going to finish her explanation tomorrow night. I think it'll work. I still want a mom."

Ben pulled Alex into a hug.

"Let's get some sleep. Everything is going to be all right Alex. I know it." Ben smiled at Alex and draped an arm around his shoulders before walking back to the cabins.

**i know it is SUPER short but i need yalls help because i need your suggestions. should:(after explanation part 2)**

**-k and x unit get time off and alex meets a girl.**

**-a new teen (or someone from his school) come to bb**

**-alex get a mission with ben**

**- one of your ides (cooment or PM)**

**i need help as to how this story should go since ysll are the ones reading it. Thank you sooo much for your support and i will most likely update tomorrow**


	6. Chapter 6- combat lesson

Alex was almost running to the mess hall the next morning. He wanted to see his mom again. Not even say anything, just see her face.

When he walked into the mess hall, he was disappointed. The only people here were d-unit, j-unit, and his uncle and dad. He looked down to his feet and went to grab his tray.

Once he sat down and began eating his units joined him. They began talking about nothing necessarily important leaving Alex to his thoughts. After a few minutes into eating someone walked in. when Alex looked up to see who it was, he smiled.

He was met with the gentle face of his mother.

Alex was genuinely happy. He was happy he had a mother. He was now one step closer to being normal. One step closer to having the family he had always wanted.

Helen only smiled a small smile before bringing her attention to a now crying baby. Alex's happiness was replaced with anger. All he thought about was how his parents just left him. And how, they went and had their own separate family.

Helen got the small child to quiet down and she sat down a seat away from her husband. Alex hadn't noticed Helens strange behavior towards her husband. He was too focused on the baby.

_Why does she get my family? Why does she get a mom and dad? I am thinking all these things yet I don't even remember her name. Ella? Erika? Emma? Emma! That's it! Wait what was I thinking?_

Alex was cut off from his crazy thoughts by Ben nudging him.

"We need to go to class. Combat trainings first today." Ben told Alex.

"Hey are those jerks going to be there?" Parrot piped.

"Yeah I heard they both were going to be there!" Eagle chirped.

"Great" the rest of the two units replied together.

Alex and his units just arrived to the combat hut. John and Ian had just arrived before them and were discussing quietly in the corner. The remaining units had just entered the building and their lessons started.

"Alright soldiers, welcome to combat training. Today we will be assessing you in your work one by one. Right now we have Fox against Bear so stretch and come up on the mat." John finished his words and stepped to the side.

Ben and Bear were pretty equal in combat and was a good match.

Alex sat and watched all the pairs go up and vie on the raised platform.

Eventually Alex and Wolf were the only ones who had not sparred.

"Now, Ian and I are going to spar with the two remaining soldiers. I will spar with Cub and Ian with Wolf. Cub and I shall start." John finished by looking at Alex with amusement dancing in his eyes.

Alex resisted the urge to flee the premises and slowly walked up to the platform. He was now almost eye to eye with his father (John is a few inches taller).

"Alright begin." Ian had stated somewhat reluctantly. This was of course, his idiot brother's idea. He felt the need to spar against the "top spy" in MI6. He wanted the street cred, even though he was fighting his own son. John rider was drunk in the thought of being the best of the best.

"It's alright Alex. I won't hurt you too bad." Alex had to force himself to ignore the man and sight the weak points John was showing.

_He is expecting me to lash out. He has a good form but his legs are open. _

Alex began noting every small detail of the man and his fighting stance.

John was realizing that his comments had no effect on the boy and decided to make the first move. John lashed out but was easily blocked by Alex.

_His eye twitches right before he makes a move._

"Hey Ian! I thought you taught this boy how to spar when he was 5. I told you specifically to teach him to block correctly."

Alex saw right through the act but still felt his heart stop. Ian knew. He knew the whole time but he did nothing. Nothing but scold him when he cried for his parents because the kid at school asked him why he didn't have a mom and dad.

John lashed out as Alex was having his moment of realization. John hit him square in the eye and Alex immediately reacted. He moved so fast, John could not keep up. Hit after hit. Alex was letting everything out in his punches. Every sleepless night, every tear he has shed. He couldn't stop and all the other soldiers were too shocked to do anything.

Ben of course, was the first one to snap back and began talking to the boy.

"Alex its ben. You need to stop. I know you want to hurt him but you need to stop. You are going to kill him."

Alex immediately stopped and looked at ben through his blurry eyes. He hadn't even realized he had been crying and didn't know if they were because of anger or desperation. Ian walked over to his brother and led him to the corner and sat him down.

Alex had wiped away his tears but when he turned to his uncle, they instantly flooded back.

"I don't understand. Why? Why didn't you tell me? Why, on all those nights when I was bullied at school for not having my parents, you yell at me to suck it up and dry my tears. WHY DID YOU LET ME SEARCH THE HOUSE EVERY CHRISTMAS FOR YEARS LOOKING FOR MY PARENTS? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET MI6 GET ME! WHY DID YOU LET JACK, AND SABINA, AND HER PARENTS DIE BECAUSE OF ME! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!? I TRUSTED YOU! YOU FUCKING BASTARD, I TRUSTED YOU!"

Tears were freely flowing down Alex's face and he grabbed bens arm and led him outside. As Alex and ben were sitting on the edge of the lake in peaceful silence, they were oblivious to Wolf beating the shit out of one Ian Rider. The only thing Alex wanted was the rest of his mother's explanation.

_**Okay. I think it is pretty obvious that a mission with ben is the obvious choice. I still need to do the second part of the explanation but I saw this in the comments by **_**Seth8027 **_**and **_** SapphireBlueSea **_** and it stuck in my mind. Back to the mission, what kind of mission do you want? Where do you want it? And I saw somewhere (can't find it) someone say to not write the entire mission and focus more on the parent thing. At least that's how I read it. Anyway, next chapter will be explanation. Also I want to say that please do not get angry if I write something that you do not want to read it. I really am trying to include what ya'll want to read but I still want the story to be mine. Thank you all sooo much for sticking with the story and please write what you want for the mission in the comments or whatever I hope you all have a goodnight (its 10:00 pm here in Texas) and/ or a good morning or day. **_


	7. Chapter 7- explanation part 2

Just as Helen said, she explained the rest of the story. They were in the same spot only sitting on the grass. It had not rained the day before and was a very hot and bright day so they thought they would put the dry grass to use as it always rains in Wales.

"As soon as I left, I knew I made the wrong decision. I was leaving a helpless baby in a cruel world. How could I do that? I asked myself that question all the time. I knew I couldn't get you back, john wouldn't let me. He said it was too dangerous to be around him. I hated him for years but I could never leave. I got pictures though. So many pictures." Helen smiled while looking at the sun setting.

"School pictures, football pictures, karate pictures. Those pictures never left me. I still have them in fact. When you met Jack, the pictures only escalated. Ian always brought me pictures. I know you may hate him, but he's not as bad as your father. He tried, John didn't. I will never forgive him. After about ten years, I began to get lonely and your father was all I had. I didn't love him. No. I only ever loved him before he told me about his job. I hated what he did, but accepted it. I was so stupid. When Ian was shot, I thought he really did die. That is until, he showed up at our safe house. He had just got out of the hospital. He couldn't go back, MI6 had already gotten you. Of course, he hadn't told me that. I have just found that out. I just expected you moved on with your life but when I saw you at that assembly, I was so happy but crushed at the same time. I forced the boys to tell me everything and they did.

"Emma was an accident, I will tell you that. It was on your fourteenth birthday and I drowned my sorrows in drinks. I was happy when I found out but she was a constant reminder of what I lost. I told myself I would try harder and be a good mom. I know that I'm not. What mom leaves her child." Helen was shaking with sobs.

"I think you're a good mom. I know when someone is lying, and you aren't." Alex smiled shyly at his mom. Helen smiled through her tears.

"I love you Alex. I want you to know that. And this is probably not my place to say anything but I know Ian does too. He has been crushed ever since he came back and saw you." Alex sat in silence for a minute registering what his mother said.

"You love me?" he mumbled looking down

"More than anything." Helen pulled her son into a motherly hug and held him for a good five minutes.

Alex pulled away looking happy. "Hey mom, can I meet Emma? I guess I don't have a good reason to not like her." Alex chuckled slightly.

His mom leaked more tears from her eyes only these were from happiness.

"Really? Oh I would love that! When do you want to see her?" you would think Helen became a kid on Christmas from the look in her eyes.

"Uh whenever you want I guess." Alex replied shyly.

"You know, you gave John a good beating. I think it was good for him to get some sense knocked into him. He needed it. I am glad that Ian wasn't as bad, he has a better heart than John."

Alex was dumbfounded. "Who hit Ian?" he asked aloud.

"That Wolf guy. I'm not upset. He needed some too. At least they weren't hurt too bad. Just a little sore."

Alex let the new information sink in. he seemed to be doing that quite a lot these days.

"I'm so happy" Helen said as she wiped her eyes. Helen and Alex sat under the stars and talked until curfew.

The next morning Alex woke up from a good dream which shocked him till tomorrow.

_I guess this is what a mothers love does to you._

Alex and the crew headed to the mess hall and got their food. The two units sat down at their table and were only interrupted when Helen came walking in with Emma in her arms. Alex motioned for her to come and sit next to him.

John and Ian only stared shocked by the relationship the two had. Helen hadn't spoken to them directly in two days.

John and Ian were not the only shocked people in the room. The entire hall- filled with every loud man in the camp- was silent.

"Hey mom! These are my units. This is Ben, Wolf, Bear… he began going down the row naming all of his teammates. Once he finished he heard a small cry and looked down at his mother's arms.

He was met with the gentle face of a baby that looked like a doll. She had soft skin piercing blue eyes with a dash of brown around the edges, a small nose, LONG eyelashes that enhanced her eyes, and small pink lips. She resembled her mother.

She was staring at her older brother with curiosity and waving her arms around. Alex gingerly placed his pointer finger in the small grasp of the child. He smiled down at her and was gifted a small giggle that echoed around the silent hall.

"You can hold her if you want." Helen told her son, her eyes swimming with unshed tears. This is what every mother admired, watching her kids bonding.

"Oh... uh... um okay I guess." Alex stuttered causing Ben to laugh loudly. He adored his adoptive son*.

Ian was watching in admiration as his nephew slowly grabbed Emma with his mother's help. He never wished to leave his nephew, but he did. He only wished he could repair the relationship as Helen did.

John was the first to react and was walking over to his son who was currently holding his daughter.

"What the hell do you think you are doing? Give me my daughter you little dick!" Apparently, he had not learned his lesson, just became very mad. Helen was expecting this to happen and stopped Ben before he jumped her lame excuse of a husband.

"What are you talking about? You actually think I will let you raise my beautiful daughter? You, the one that prevented me from ever knowing my son, are trying to insult him? You are a horrible father and husband. You should better try and salvage anything that classifies you as a brave man cause all you do is cower away from anything hard. You would rather leave a baby in the dark, than to risk your life to save him like any man with an ounce of a soul would do. All you are is drunk on power that you don't have. Goodbye John. Thank you for reuniting me with my son, from your mistakes. Go fuck that woman you see when you go out every damn day"

Helen helped Alex up so he didn't drop his sister and led him outside motioning for his team to follow them.

All Alex could do was look at the baby. He couldn't help all the tears freely flowing from his face. He would give his mom and this baby a true man in the family, no matter what happens.

_**Hey so I have been thinking about the mission and I can just say it might not be good, but hopefully entertaining. I'm only going to use one chapter for the mission and I'm trying to please as much people as I can. If you have any ideas please tell me! Thank you all for reading!**_

_***I wanted to just make sure everybody knows that Ben is his Legal father even though John is alive.**_

_**- I am also going to start using **_**mom**_** instead of **_**mum**_**. It kind of throws me off and this is easiest for me.**_

_**I know this chapter might have been boring but I liked it. I hope you have a great day/night. **_


	8. Chapter 8- ians plan

Ben and Helen were talking quietly on Ben's bunk. She would be staying in his bed until they move her crib and bunk into this cabin while Ben would sleep on a sleeping bag, (He was a soldier that has been in battle, he's had worse) while the other guys were playing poker. Emma was fast asleep on Alex's bare chest. Parrot told him that by letting her hear his heartbeat establishes trust* and He wanted to show his mom that he cares and that he is comfortable around her and by showing her something that he doesn't necessarily show off, he thought would send her the message. And it was hot, really hot, in the tightly packed cabin.

"Hey Emma. I know you can't understand me but that's alright. I've never held a baby before, but I guess this is a start. I know that you don't really know me but I'm your brother, and I will be here forever while you grow up into a beautiful young girl and eventually women. You will be so beautiful that all the guys will never want to date you because I beat all of them up when they look at you. I don't know what exactly what's going to happen but I do know that I'm going to be here the whole time. Our dad seems to suck, yeah? I guess we don't know him that well. But maybe that's the reason why. I do love our mom though. She seems pretty cool. I'm really happy I have her. She's kind of like my second mom if you think about it. There was this woman named Jack. I know, boys name! But she was my best friend up until she died. She had really red hair and a really loud voice. She was from America which kind of explains it…"

Ian rider couldn't keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks. He was walking around the back side of Alex's cabin when he was stopped by the low gentle voice coming through the window. While listening to Alex go on about all the great things he has experienced in his life, he thought about how wrong he screwed up. Ever since john made him care for the boy he knew something was going to happen and bite them all in the ass. He was interrupted by a large man, not surprising... he was at the SAS.

"May I join you" the sergeant asked quietly, careful not to wake the now sleeping cabin.

Ian merely nodded, unable to shake off his feeling of guilt.

"You have an amazing nephew Ian, you should be proud. You know, I have a daughter. She's in high school. Every day I think about her. I think about how I should have been there, stuck with her mother and not join the army. How I'm here bossing everyone around and I could be taking the place of her dumbass stepfather. But I visited her last month and she looked like a child on Christmas. She showed me all of her friends and the boy, ugh there's always one isn't there. The point is, everybody makes bad decisions but they all work out in the end. Alex is going to come around. He has had a rough year and everyone's to blame. Things will get better. Maybe not for your dick of a brother but for your family. You, Helen, Alex, Emma. They are your family. Remember that."

With that he left Ian to his thoughts.

_I'm going to change things for the better around here._

**Okay… ya'll probably hate me and that's okay. I deleted the mission and am not going to do that. I just think it doesn't really go well right now and might try to add one in later on but for now I'm just going to try and focus more on Alex's feelings. I'm already writing another chapter so it will not take me long to update like last time. It is the end of the year and I have huge tests coming up and have already had like 3. I have been drowning in projects and math homework (seriously I get like a packet a night, it sucks) and just couldn't get to writing. I'm going to try and update soon but I have STAAR tests tomorrow and an EOC next week or something so it's really stressful. I hope ya'll don't hate me too much and will try and get a nice juicy chapter up this week!**

**(sorry not edited too good, really wanted to give ya'll something so sorry if its bad =.**


End file.
